She said: This question comes up a lot with girlfriends of mine. Usually, they are younger than the person they’re seeing and have felt some heat from friends and family members about it. The issue of age is also raised with women who seek out younger men or “cougars”. I’ve never dealt with the latter with anyone I know, but either way my opinion on the subject still applies.
Outsiders may judge based on their preconceived notions of older men/women taking advantage of the younger person. When people that care about you share their sentiments about who you’re seeing, no matter how much you want to ignore it does affect you. Probably would make you feel insecure and reconsider pursuing a relationship with a person older or younger than you. My opinion on this matter is that a person should NOT let these ideas cloud your courtship if it is strictly based on the person’s age. Age is a number!
The age of the person you’re seeing in my opinion shouldn’t matter, but there are exceptions. I don’t think any illegal activities are acceptable like the school teacher who claimed she fell in love with one of her students (while he was in middle school!) The age in this case is an issue obviously. I do think though those two adults can date and very well could be compatible although being separated by several years.
Despite the negative things people may say, you may learn something from your older man or woman. They may even learn something from you! If you can enjoy the same things and laugh and enjoy each other’s company AND BE HAPPY then why not!? Isn’t everyone entitled to searching and eventually finding happiness? People will always have their opinions, but at the end of the day it’s up to you to live YOUR life the way you feel is best and in the way that brings you the most joy.
He said: Having a hard and fast view about relationships in which there is a significant age difference is as archaic, and somewhat (for a lack of better words) stupid, as feeling the need to be married by a certain age.
Relationships are complex. There is no generalized standard or age ratio and to be quite honest there should not be. Some young people have ‘old souls’, and vice-versa, are they supposed to be unhappy, while upholding some ‘societal standard’? Of course, there will be extremes, such as the Hugh Hefner’s but there’s a line, and in this case a huge one.
It’s easy to raise doubts or question how it works, and wonder what would they have in common, etc etc Again though relationships are complex and the void an older/younger partner could be filling for their respective partners could make their ages irrelevant, or even more significant, and shouldn’t really matter to anyone but the party’s involved.
It’s not a fetish people, if you like younger women/men; good for you. If you like them big, small, short or tall; good for you. If you like them buff or athletic, funny or quite, aggressive or passive; good for you. Why can’t he/she like their fruits more ripe than you?
So what do YOU think? Do you agree with what He said or with what She said or both? Have your say on the Topic of the Week by leaving a comment below!
Dr3 & Sammy-Jo
Want more? Go ahead and SUBSCRIBE to The Only Number!
Source: JustJared.buzznet.com
2 comments:
Age is just a number. I think that our society normalizes who we can or should be with, and we are condemned if we don’t follow these so called rules. At the end of the day, if you find someone that you care about, and cares about you, why should age matter? If you both make each other happy, that is very important. However, I completely agree with Sammy-Jo; Illegal activities i.e. a 35 year old dating a 16 year old is definitely not acceptable. I think this way not because I am a follower to the societal’s conventional perceptions. I think that if you are a young girl dating an older woman or vice versa, the relationship will not give the younger person a chance to enjoy their youthful days since they are induced to the level of maturity that older person already is (or at least you would assume).
I myself have never dated anyone younger than me, but age was never really a factor in the decision making process. Clearly, I just want someone who is stimulating intellectually, and mature for me, and believe me, being older does not equate maturity. Being older may open doors for plenty of experiences, but not everyone learns and matures from them. So having said that, if you are dating an older woman/older man, as long as you are happy with the person that he/she is, do not become a victim of these societal rules. Besides, if someone wants to talk about you and your business, there is a high percentage that a.) They have nothing exciting about their lives to talk about, so you have become their subject of interest or b.) They have someone in their life (who is around their age) but they are evidently not happy with them so they want you to be insecure with your life and join the unhappy club and/or c.) They have been normalized by our society so much they can’t be open minded. In addition, your own concerned friends should ALWAYS be supportive and not contribute to a person’s insecurity. I completely agree with Dr3 "Some young people have ‘old souls’, and vice-versa, are they supposed to be unhappy, while upholding some ‘societal standard’?" At the end of the day, do you really care about what other people have to say about your happiness? From what I remember, we all live OUR own lives, so live it how you want to.
You make some really good points Mic! I especially agree with you when you said that being older doesn't equate maturity. Unfortunately, it's much easier to think like this when we think of other people outside of our friends and family.
I wonder though, would we be as accepting if the younger person was our sister or brother dating someone 20 plus years older than them. I have yet to deal with this, but hope I would be able to keep an open mind.
Post a Comment