He said: I don’t have any psycho-analysis as to why or why not; No proof, no real reasoning, no nothing. But to give an honest opinion, I believe that checking other people out is not a problem. I can’t say it’s a ‘good’ thing, but I can say, I don’t think it’s bad, or detrimental to a relationship. Now I’m not talking about the ‘eye-raping’, undressing, smiling and blushing, bedroom-eyes, checking out; I think that’s pretty unacceptable. A simple, ‘yeh he/she is fine’, or maybe even a little, “I’ll hit that” (I’m joking Sammy-Jo), would do.

BUT, I think it’s a no-no if you are with your shawty/baby boy, or whatever your lingo. Just respect your relationship enough, to at least focus on yours. From the outside looking in, it really isn’t a ‘good look’; I’ve been looked at head to toe from girls with their man, and I must say I wouldn’t have it. From the inside looking out, it’s just a way of saying I’m loyal to this person; you might be fine, but not right now.


She said: What's wrong with taking a look? Nothing in my opinion. HOWEVER, there will be NO neck breaking or double takes in my presence!

I have to admit though, there's some bad b*tches out there that even I may want to stare at. No homo! It's also a real reminder that there are other fish in the sea. Like a friendly tap on the shoulder to keep your stuff on point, release yourself of old routines, and try new things with your special someone.

It's important men and women just need to learn to be respectful whether there special someone is there or not. When you gawk at someone, it makes them think that you're interested. This could lead to more then just an innocent gaze and become a real problem for a couple.

Single people on the other hand can look, drool, spin around, and bark if the urge strikes. Just realize that this type of behavior doesn't work on quality males or females when you're trying to get their attention. It's actually a major turn-off.

Mr. Obama was "caught" in the picture above and the dude on the side has the most devilish smirk on his face. I just couldn't help myself. Keep in mind, Obama is a man. The picture, in my opinion makes him a human being like the rest of us. Love him!

So what do YOU think? Do you agree with what He said or with what She said? Have your say on the Topic of the Week by leaving a comment below!

Dr3 & Sammy-Jo



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She said: I sure hope not!

But, I’ve seen men relax in the planning department, once they have secured their lady. In the beginning, when men are in the process of courting a woman, they tend to spend extra time finding new and exciting things to do together. For some unknown reason, the roles change after an unsaid amount of time and women end up being the ones that take over planning and organizing activities. This may not be true for every relationship as there are always exceptions to the rule. And men, I am also aware of the fact that women also relax in other areas, but that’s another topic for another week!

The truth is planning takes time. One person, woman or man, shouldn’t have to handle the task alone. Doing your research includes reservations, tickets, addresses and directions, phone numbers, and reviews from other people. If the woman is the only one handling these things plus keeping in mind conflicting schedules, she will not stay happy. She will enjoy it for a little bit, but will start to feel like it’s a chore as opposed to another opportunity to spend time with her man.

It is true that many women, at least the ones I know, are very organized and have the skills necessary to plan a perfect evening, weekend, or complete vacation. However, these skills come from experience; the planning ‘gifts’ are not necessarily ones you’re born with. Men can do it too!

The Internet is your friend. There is a wealth of information available at your fingertips. There are really no excuses that I can think of. If you don’t have access to the Internet, then pull out the phone book and start making calls. Ha-ha! Anything you can think of can be learned about and planned with this tool.

Do you think that women are too picky? Or you don’t know what she’ll enjoy doing? I can’t speak for them all, but I’m pretty sure that someone that cares about you will make an effort to do something outside of their comfort zone and vice versa. I say, alternate the task of organizing date night and different holidays so that it feels like less of a duty and more FUN!

If a woman has to do this by herself, she will lose her mind! Or at least I would.


He said:In a word, yes. In a sentence, I do believe women are destined to be the planners.

Now as much as I am an opinionated guy, I really cannot say I can form an honest opinion about what color or for that matter fabric, my couch should be.

I can’t say that I have honestly ever pictured the setting my perfect date should have, nor have I imagined my wedding day and what the theme would be like.

I can’t say that when I travel to a new place, that I have thought beyond getting there and seeing what it’s like. To be quite honest, my thoughts didn’t stray beyond where I would stay. The rest “would fall in place” as they say.

I can say that every time, and I do mean EVERY time, that I see a movie with that guy that does elaborate planning to surprise his girlfriend, wife or special someone, I wonder exactly what did I miss in my childhood in becoming him.
Now I have done the odd surprise here and there, I have hurt my head in trying to determine just what “she” might like, or like a lot, searching for that perfect gesture. The result has been; hit or miss.

Either she loves the gesture, or loves the thought, but at the same time hates the idea. Women love to picture being wined and dined and swept of their feet, but this very picture, is a picture that they have planned out themselves. You picture a man doing the things that YOU would HOPE he does to sweep you off your feet. It suggests then that women have ideals as to how all things men and women should go.
It suggests then that even in not planning an occasion, women have an idea as to just how it should be planned, and run, and look, in any case.

In defense of all men, it’s not that we don’t plan, but our plans often fall short of the things women take into consideration when planning. For those ladies lucky enough to have that guy (the one that plans down to a tee and never disappoints, you know the one that’s played by a “Di Caprio type”), you should hold onto him like grim death. For the rest of you, aside from the sporadic works of genius, be prepared, you will be the one on the drawing board for a long, long time.

Motto: If you want things done right, you got to do it yourself

Do you agree with what He said or with what She said? Have your say on the Topic of the Week.

Dr3 & Sammy-Jo


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He said:Forgiveness or at least what I perceive to be forgiveness is the ability to not only move forward but to “forget”, and to not require any punishment or restitution. I believe this forgiveness is impossible.

Being able to move forward with a “clean slate” after someone/something has hurt you is impossible (for me, and I believe for almost everyone). No child who is burnt by fire is as naïve or as “wide eyed” with fire, as he/she may have been before, ever again.

With this in mind then, I believe that prevention is better than cure. From a relationship standpoint, as long as doubts and fears are introduced, they never go away. Like I defined in the beginning, moving forward is one thing, but being able to have that whole “clean slate” feel, is impossible. It is human nature to dislike feeling pain (physically or emotionally), as a result of which we try to either avoid or reduce the amount of painful circumstances we face and experience.

I have seen it time and time again, where couples who have dealt with cheating, are never the same, couples dealing with lying, are never the same, etc. Once that seed of doubt is planted, it results in one party constantly fighting an uphill and no doubt fruitless battle to kill the negative perception of them self. Conversely, the other person is left wondering if they are in fact being duped again, or is this person for real.

It’s an unfortunate reality; our minds never forget. No matter how much love, respect, joy, or supposed bliss someone shares with another, once a doubt is exposed, insecurity is born, from which there is no return to “normal”.

Prevention is better than cure.

Real forgiveness may be a cure, but the common forgiveness (the moving forward, but not forgetting), like Advil, or Aspirin, only reduces and temporarily relieves the symptoms.


She said: Prevention is ideal, but I think forgiveness to cure a wrong should also be explored as a way to rebuild and restore a relationship or to move on from one.

To prevent a wrong from taking place is the best way to avoid any bumps in a relationship. However, I still think it’s possible, especially in the early stages in a relationship, to fall short of the expectations that your partner might have for you. We can work day and night to try to avoid this from happening; however each and every one of us is human and therefore are likely to sometimes fail the people we love.

I believe it’s necessary to make some mistakes though, hopefully those errors are fixable and both involved are able to move forward from them, learn a lesson, and have an even deeper connection with one another after dealing with the issues.

Unfortunately, there are several examples of things that we think are unforgivable, also known as “dealbreakers”. Each and every one of us have our own list of inexcusable acts and these things if committed against us are automatic ends. If that is the choice that one decides to make, that is their decision. After the fact, when the rebuilding stage is taking place, I think that one has to learn to forgive in order to move on and be blessed.

Real forgiveness is hard to accomplish, but with God’s help it can be achieved. Lewis B. Smede’s quote says it best, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

Do you agree with what He said or with what She said? Have your say on the Topic of the Week.

Dr3 & Sammy-Jo


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She said: A celebrity lives a very different daily life that includes paparazzi and all that jazz. I’m thinking it may be hard to keep their relationships private; however I do admire the few celeb couples that seem to try to keep details to themselves ie. Jay and Bey or Halle and Gabe. I’m sure it helps to maintain some privacy and solidarity between them. My view is that too much publicity is NOT a good idea.

On a more relatable level, making a relationship “public” nowadays seems to involve being introduced as a boyfriend or girlfriend to friends or family, or the grand gesture of making it “official” over the online social networking site of your choice. I think the most popular is the “In a Relationship with _____” status option on Facebook. Is it a good idea? No, if it’s your 1 week anniversary. Ha!

On the real, I think like an expensive pair of shoes or your fave can’t live without gadget (ie. my iPod touch!), a good relationship should be protected, treasured even. People tend to put it all out there without considering the fact that there may be jealous or just plain mean people that want you to be as unhappy as they are. Meanies will be meanies no matter what, but if you can avoid having issues and a possible break up as a result then do whatever it takes! Sad that a happy couple can’t just be happy and the world just smiles with them, but so is life.

My point is keep your personal business to yourselves because it'll help in the long run.

He said: It’s hard to imagine that a relationship that is scrutinized by the public, can ever work. Every fight multiplied, every non-issue becomes the crime of the century, but most of all individual pride must be put to the ultimate test. How do you face the world and your celebrity friends with someone on your arm that supposedly cheats on you? Better yet, how do you face the world with someone you love, who is known to abuse you?

I can’t imagine the strains and difficulties in dealing with a relationship like that. If you are a figure in the public eye, then as much as you may pretend to not need or not care about the rumors, you have to. You need fans; you need their love, their respect, both of which depend on them “knowing” you. Knowing you entails your relationship, and that’s where it really all changes. I sympathize with all celebrities, and I can whole-heartedly say, I do not envy their lives.

Depending on how you handle the circumstances in your intended private relationship, you become a hero or a target of malice and slander for years; your entire career may be forgotten.

It is with this in mind then, that keeping what is in fact your private life, private is really the best idea. It’s not a secret because every celebrity already does it, and will continue to do so. It’s the best remedy as with the less relationship issues to be discovered or reviewed, the less of a personal hamper on pride, and even on your productivity in whatever it is that you do. We’re talking about celebrity egos faced by the peer pressure of the world; how can they not break up at first fight?

I guess I should point out that, knowing that your relationship is in the public eye should serve as even more incentive to do it right and to lessen the skeletons to be found in that closet or in the dark or whatever other cliché. I can only say good luck with all of that. Maybe it’s good “kudos” to them that make it work. For those that don’t, I guess it just comes with the territory, unless the foundation of a relationship is truly well formed then I’m afraid under the storm of the public-eye, it will beyond doubt weather away.

Personally, I think it’s important to have a certain amount of publicity to a relationship, just to concrete that you are in fact in a relationship. Beyond that though, the word privacy was not invented by fools, and I consider my relationship my private life.

Do you agree with what He said or with what She said? Have your say on the Topic of the Week by leaving a comment below!

Dr3 & Sammy-Jo